Hi *smiles widely*
Why are you smiling like that?
I’m just… It’s just… I didn’t think I’d see your face or hear your voice again. And… well… you know me. I’m happy to spend even just a few minutes with you.
I know that, and I’ve been thinking about that lately.
What do you mean?
Why did you put up with that? Why were you okay with what I can give you? Why didn’t you demand for more? Because you deserve more.
First of all, you were different than any other guy I’ve met. You were straightforward without being cocky, you know? Just… smooth. You were respectful and asked the right questions. I remember that day when you first messaged me. I was baking and I have a lot of things in mind. I was waiting for my cakes to cool when I received your first message. I checked your profile and replied, then after a few exchanges you asked for my skype. There’s not a lot to read on your profile, and I didn’t get to really memorize how you looked like because you also deleted it a few days after. We skyped for hours and even without really knowing how you looked like, I was hooked. I loved talking with you, it’s like we can talk about anything and I’ve never felt that kind of need to know more about a guy for the longest time. I don’t know… Even after I’ve learned about… you know… I knew you’re worth the time and that I’ll be missing on something special if I walk away that early. So I chose to hear your side, trust you, and let myself open up to you the way I’ve never had before.
You were really there for me when I needed you.
I’m glad that I was. Why are you thinking about this now? Are you okay?
Yes. Well, you know how it is. There are good and bad days.
Is today a bad day…?
So. Tell me. How much do you miss me?
Ah. You have no idea.
Maybe I do. I know I miss you too much. And it’s hard not to be able to talk with you whenever I feel like I really need to, you know?
I know baby.
You called me baby…
You always will be.
Are you really okay? You’re worrying me…
I’m fine. Just thinking about us. How things could’ve panned out if the situation’s different.
Yeah… I always think about that. Up to this day.
Yeah? What do you think about?
I think about you teaching me how to drive. Can’t get it out of my mind ever since you told me about that. I think about baking in the middle of the night, then you’ll come to the kitchen and ask me to go to bed. And I’ll insist I need to finish what I’m doing. Then you’ll sit there and watch me even if you’re tired and sleepy. And I finish whatever I can, as fast as I can, because I feel sorry that you felt the need to stay up late, too, and I think it’s cute and sweet, and also because I know I need to get some sleep. Then we’d go to bed and you whisper “come here”, and give me our hug… do you remember that?
Our own kind of hug? And you’ll almost immediately fall asleep. And I’d smile and close my eyes, thinking how I don’t want to be anywhere but in your arms.
That’s really nice baby. Really really nice.
How much time do you have?
Okay… Well… I’ve got to go, too. You promise you’re okay?
Yes. Don’t worry about me.
Okay. Thank you, for calling me today. You know you can still do that anytime, right?
I don’t want to impose or take advantage.
Let’s say I benefit from it too. And if I’m not comfortable with it anymore, I’ll let you know. For now, don’t think I’d turn you away.
Okay. Thank you. I needed this.
My pleasure. Have a good night.
You have a good day.